Meet The Indian Parents

1.When you meet your future in-laws for the very first time, SMILE.

No not that fake one you have on right now, a genuine one like you mean it. Good, that’s better. 2. Now, casually introduce yourself. Itis important to come across as being friendly. 3. DO NOT S.P.E.L.L O.U.T each letter in your name. They’re Indians. . . NOT idiots!! 4. At this point if you are still holding your girl friends hand, RELEASE IT!!! 

There will be plenty of time to hold hands later. 5. If you have successfully completed the first 4 steps, congratulations. You have just earned yourself point no.1! Now it  is  a  custom  to  be offered something to drink. So oblige politely.Okay, pay attention as this part is crucial if you want to earn your next point. 6. When offered a drink it is safe to opt for TEA. Yes you  read right. And if you’re one of  those  who drink everything else  but  TEA, well  just opt  for water then. You  don’t want  to come  across  as being too fussy too soon! You’ll earn point 2 for that. 7. Right  then, while you wait for mother to bring you delicious Indian Tea, (if you don’t know what it is, Google it. I’m not your dictionary) father will proceed to interrogate you. Trust me, you’re not that special. The 10 morons before you went through it too. It’s just protocol. 8. Try your level best not to sound too cocky. Boasting about your job, 6 figure salary, the flashy car you drive, or that high tech

phone  you  use  ain’t  going  to  get  you  anywhere  but out of the house. 9. Again, be casual, friendly and answer questions intelligently. If you don’t know what ‘intelligently’ is, Google that too! Find out beforehand what fathers interests  are  and  talk to him  about those  topics.  That  way you’ll divert the attention from you to him.That move will secure your 3rd point in a jiffy.10. As usual her parents will proceedto ask about your family. Keep it simple and DON’T try to glorify little things. For example, if your mother’s a house

wife, just say so. Don’t for the love of god  call her a domestic engineer or if your dad happens to be a gardener,  then  call  the  poor man  a  gardener!! Don’t doll up his job title and call him a technical horticultural maintenance officer. What the hell is that? Dude, focus! You want the parents to like you. 11. Now assuming you survived that  conversation and  got  invited  to join them for lunch it’s safe to say, you’ve earned yet another point which means if you don’t already have 4 points, well then I have nothing else to say to you but this. 

FAIL!

EPIC FAIL!